Conscious or oblivious.

In my past, I was definitely the queen of the TO-DO-LIST. All I wanted was to check everything off my
almighty to-do list. Anything else was an unwanted distraction or obstacle to achieving that. I would tell you I was
anything BUT oblivious. I was highly focused.

Then one afternoon in the middle of running my errands, my toddler literally had a melt-down, the like I
had never seen before. At first, I was angry, frustrated and reactive because he was going crazy and
wasn’t cooperating. Then, all of a sudden it hit me. (Yes, it takes at least a two-by-four to knock
someone addicted to her to-do-list to stop and pay attention!) We had been running errands for several
hours. He needed his nap and time to run around, not be cooped up in a car. And he was letting me
know that!

After we got home and I got him settled, I sat down and thought about what had just happened. Was I
really going to be angry and fight with my toddler because I just HAD to pick up some things from the
cleaners today? After going to the grocery store, pharmacy, and hardware store? Was there another
way to look at this? That would work better for BOTH of us. That’s when I first became aware of the
fact that perhaps there was a difference between what I NEEDED to do and what I WANTED to do.

As I sometimes look at my life through my rear-view mirror, I find I received the gift of “BEING STUNNED
INTO AWARENESS” at very pivotal times in my life. Usually times of great stress, when I was too-
preoccupied-to-be-conscious, and times when there was just no room for any kind of other response.
Just the instantaneous awareness that comes from being slapped up the
side of the head. By the Universe.

Thought it might not feel like it at the time, these are gifts. Wake up calls. If you are awake enough to
notice. Conscious enough to understand. Have you been stunned into awareness lately?