Stumbling Gladly.

Without knowing exactly how to do it, one day I decided to choose ME.

The decision felt good. However, I really had no idea HOW to do that exactly.

After some musing, I decided that I’d start with listening — to my own inner wisdom.
For me, that meant asking myself “what do I do next?” in my daily journaling. I thought I’d just see what revealed itself in this daily practice and then deal with things as they came up. So that’s what I did.

The first challenge I noticed was just becoming AWARE of what I thought might be my inner wisdom trying to talk with me. At first, all I could hear was this incessant chattering in my head. From ”what am I having for breakfast” to “OMG I’m gaining weight.”

But the worst was the ongoing loop of self-talk I had going on. It took the form of arguing with someone in my head - justifying what and why I did the things I did — because with whom ever I was arguing (my inner critic) thought anything I did or thought was wrong! Since this ongoing inner debate and criticism was exhausting, I decided to start there.

As soon as I made that decision a big red stop sign popped into my mind. At first, I didn’t understand it but the next time that critical self-talk started up - that huge red stop sign popped up again! I suddenly realized what I needed to do! Whenever that self-talk started, I just had to say stop. So, I did.

And it stopped. At least for a few seconds. The more aware I became and the more I practiced this technique, the longer my old habit ceased and the new habit - me turning it off — became second nature. Until it completely stopped.

Those were my first two self-taught lessons: 1) that I could train myself out of long-time
thinking habits AND 2) that my inner wisdom or self would help me find the needed solutions - weird as they may be — IF only I just ASKED.

Once I became more aware of what I could do — by deliberately cultivating and nurturing my awareness, my own inner wisdom — the answers I needed came more frequently and consistently and in many different forms. In other words, the more I trusted in and responded to these “bread crumbs” of inspiration, the more I received.

I had instinctively created (i.e. stumbled into) a mutually beneficial relationship between me and my inner self. A way to spiritually feed myself in support of my highest good and development.

Choosing me is the best decision I’ve ever made.